WHATTA YA KNOW! Are we workin’ our kids TOO HARD?

My son came home from school one day and said,

“The reason I went to school wasn’t there today!”

Then my daughter cried out:

What ever happened to ‘PLAY’?

It turns out that kids need UN-structured play time to learn self regulation.

FINALLY the experts have spoken!

PLAY is GOOD for you!

Too much structured play can lead to lack of self control in kids!  TV, video games, even too many extra-curricular lessons can get in the way.

Letting kids use their imaginations in play frees them to ‘self-talk’, which allows them to think of different scenarios and learn to regulate their own behavior.
In the ‘old days’ (before television) kids spent more time improvising, exploring and being allowed ‘free space’ to pretend.
To quote Alex Spiegel from NPR News, “It turns out that all that time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

In NPR’s story “Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills”, shares how the commercialization of child’s play by merchandisers wanting to sell toys — was a trend which began to shrink the size of children’s imaginative space. The second half of the 20th century introduced TV, which brought marketers, and suddenly play was centered on a thing, a toy, rather than using their imagination to create their inner world. As Howard Chudacoff, a cultural historian at Brown University said, “It’s interesting to me that when we talk about play today, the first thing that comes to mind are toys. “Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object.”

The psychologist Dr. Dobson once say that TV captures the imagination, and won’t let it go.
Maybe it’s time to turn off the TV and go play outside – as long as you know they have a safe place to play.

Here’s the rest of the story:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19212514

and more about The Best Kind of Play for Kids:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=76838288&ps=rs

Check out HOW to BUILD your CHILD’s CHARACTER here…

FREE Illustrated Behavior charts and TIPS for KIDS

The Four Building Blocks of Character…

It starts when they’re small…   © Ruth Elliott, 2010

What are The Four Building Blocks of Character?

THE FOUR BUILDING BLOCKS OF CHARACTER
can be boiled down to these:
1-ASK
2-THANK
3-APOLOGIZE
4-FORGIVE

BUILDING BLOCK # 1- We learn to ASK or ADMIT
When we learn to say, “PLEASE!” we ASK. In ASKING, we ADMIT our need for others! From the moment we were born we began asking – crying – for our needs to be met. The very fact of our existence is proof that someone answered that cry – cared about us enough to nurture, feed and protect us – or we wouldn’t be here. As we get older, sometimes we hate to admit we need other people, unconsciously feeling like a helpless infant again. But relationships are the stuff of life! We all need each other, so it’s OK to ASK. Hopefully we learn to ask POLITELY! Teach kids to say “PLEASE!”

BUILDING BLOCK # 2 – We learn to THANK!

When we realize we need others, we begin to be THANKFUL for what we have been given. We wouldn’t have anything, not even life itself, if it had not been first been GIVEN to us! We need to teach kids to say “THANK YOU!”

BUILDING BLOCK # 3 – We learn to APOLOGIZE

Being human we all make mistakes. To APOLOGIZE requires humbling ourselves and ADMITTING we are not perfect. We can never grow further in our character until we can learn to say, “I’m Sorry.”

BUILDING BLOCK # 4 – We learn to FORGIVE

After we admit we are not perfect, we can then say, “I FORGIVE YOU”, knowing that we also need forgiveness. How else can we get along in this world?

The habits we learn as children will stay with us a lifetime. Giving kids THE FOUR BUILDING BLOCKS OF CHARACTER will lay the foundation for a good life. How many gang wars, world wars, marriage conflicts and sibling rivalries would be avoided if people just learned these four things:
ADMIT we need each other,
THANK others,
APOLOGIZE for our mistakes, and
FORGIVE one other!
“Habits are actions built up strong and tall. LIke bricks laid together to form a high wall. When once they are built it is so hard to break them, you’d better be careful about how you MAKE them!”  – Anonomous*

*Thanks to my son Jon for sharing this poem he learned from Mr. Stevens in 5th Grade and STILL REMEMBERS!

I’m thankful for YOU!

Ruth Elliott
Director, Edu Designs
ruth@edudesigns.org
“Teaching kids the important things, one kid at a time…”

Pictures © Ruth Elliott,2010, courtesy of GoMommyGo.com

I was a THUMBSUCKER!

I was a thumbsucker when I was 4 years old. To be precise, I loved to suck on my index and middle fingers at the same time. This brought me much comfort, especially before going to bed. Tucking me in one night my mother told me I was now a big girl and could not suck my fingers anymore. She had an air of certainty to her words. I protested vigorously. But she had an alternate plan for me. Placing a small pink ceramic doll in my hand she said, “Here. Every time you want to suck your fingers, hold this little dolly close to your cheek, instead.” I was dubious, but thought I must do it somehow if I was ever to be a ‘big girl’.

That night as I struggled to obey her, nestling my hand tightly into my cheek, it wasn’t fun, but it did bring a certain relief, as I settled into the idea that I was now being a ‘big girl’. Soon I was just as addicted to that dolly as I had been to my fingers before, and could not go to sleep without it. One day as my mother changed the sheets it fell to the floor, and broke into pieces. I was horrified! What will I do now? I cried bitterly. In a calm voice she assured me, “Won’t worry – we’ll get you another one.” Days went by, and when I’d ask her about it, she’d say, “Don’t worry – we’ll find one someday”, and then promptly distract me with some interesting activity or other. Week after week she never did ‘find one’ and I learned to live without it. How clever she was, to replace one attachment with another, not leaving me abandoned to my grief.

Last year at a garage sale, I saw the exact kind of ceramic dolly staring up at me. Somehow it had lost its allure. How much that little block of ceramic had meant to me! The very symbol of comfort. And security. Bigger things have since replaced it, and one by one been lost or broken themselves, disappointing me in the love of ‘things’. Only love itself, not its trappings, lives forever. I’m not letting go of THAT. EVER!

Ruth Elliott
www.gomommygo.com
Helping parents and caregivers guide character development…
more about Ruth
gomommygo

No way to stay clean…

Sept. 10th, 2010 Ruth Elliott, Director

No way to stay clean… © Ruth Elliott, 2010 Why is it that you can’t get something clean without getting dirty in the process? The biggest slob I know won’t touch anything filthy or yucky. No way. “EWE! I ‘m not getting near THAT!” So the result is that the mess sits. And sits. And sits. Of course, they are not parents – yet. What about diapers? Imagine if we just let the baby sit in their poop forever. The baby would die. There’s no way around it. In order to get rid of something bad you must get in there and face the awful truth. We’ve gotta get rid of it. No matter how bad it smells. Yep. I think God invented babies so we would learn to finally grow up. We can’t let the baby die! So we face the poop. And in dealing with the poop in our little ones, we begin to learn to face it in ourselves. How mean and selfish and awful we are only to be thinking of ourselves. And in the process something wonderful happens. We become people who do truly care about others. Once our little ones are clean and neat again, they’re so beautiful. And sweet. And lovable. Even though you know they will get dirty again. We can forgive them for that. They can’t help themselves. Were we ever so precious? We were. And still are. Underneath all the poop we still make. Don’t give up. You’re cleanable! Forgive! Ruth Elliott Director, Edu Designs ruth Have you signed up to see our videos on the web yet? All is not lost! Go to this page, enter your email address, and you’ll get FREE ACCESS to view our character stories. Enjoy!

YOUR Character CAN CHANGE the World!

Edu Designs makes careful use of your support! We don’t use a single cent of your gifts for overhead – 100% goes to programs to help children. Our all volunteer Board of Directors generously donates their time. If you can, please help too!

Please join with us. Contact us to find out how.

Edu Designs is a CA Non Profit 501 (c) 3 Corporation. All donations are Tax Deductible as allowed by law.

I finally DID it! The Mandarin Version of my story The Night Princess is HERE!

The MANDARIN Version of The Night Princess!

Click to play the YOUTUBE version

DVD Includes English and Mandarin narrations, dramatized with accompanying original musical score. Contact me for more information on the coming book and DVD See the English version here: http://www.edudesigns.org/NightPrincess.html

THE NIGHT PRINCESS is an original fable that encourages us to see that the way we treat anyone, is the way we treat everyone! With tears streaming down his face, RAY BRADBURY declared, “It’s BEAUTIFUL!” VAN DYKE PARKS said: “I loved your show too. Terrific animation to a great tale. The music does justice to it all!” Book and DVD are coming soon! The story of THE NIGHT PRINCESS is as gripping as it is mysterious. What happened to The Night Princess? The end depends on YOU! Your answer is the only one that matters… For Educators: Questions for discussion with Students: What do YOU think happened? Was she still alive? What did the king do? Did he learn a lesson? What lesson did he learn?

PS – Remember to ask your school to contact us for a FREE Art Presentation – plus we donate a copy of each of our books to the schools that request them. Just send them to our web site for more information: www.edudesigns.org
And thanks for remembering to help the kids in this way!
Ruth
ruth

Ruth Elliott
www.gomommygo.com
Helping parents and caregivers guide character development…
more about Ruth
gomommygo

The smarter I get the dumber I feel…

Kids teach me so much. Mostly about how much I don’t know.

Art is so much fun! Help your brain power and check out the free video art lesson sample available from Edu Designs, the non profit I volunteer my time with:
http://www.edudesigns.org/Sample_Art_Lessons.html

Ruth Elliott, Director, Edu Designs
www.edudesigns.org

EDU DESIGNS is dedicated “to produce and distribute multimedia materials for the education, motivation and character development of children”

Edu Designs is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible as allowed by law.

Welcome to the Land of “I’m Sorry”

June 25th, 2010 Ruth Elliott, Director

Welcome to the Land of “I’m Sorry” © Ruth Elliott, 2010 Once there was a boy whose teacher said, “Boy – Always do right, and Never do Wrong. Then you will be perfect.” So the boy went out to always do right. But one day he did something wrong. He was so sad he thought his life was ruined forever. “There’s nothing left to do but jump down a hole and DIE.” He was about to jump, when someone came along and said, “All is not lost! You can still have a good life. But you have to go through these two gates first: So the boy left the hole behind, and went through the gates. On the other side he saw his teacher there and said, “You’re here, TOO? YOU had to say sorry? What did YOU do that was wrong?” The teacher said, “I told you ‘you could be perfect and never do wrong’ – but that was impossible to do. That was my mistake. I am sorry.” Ruth Elliott Director, Edu Designs ruth Have you signed up to see our videos on the web yet? All is not lost! Go to this page, enter your email address, and you’ll get FREE ACCESS to view our our little character stories. Enjoy!

YOUR Character CAN CHANGE the World!

Edu Designs makes careful use of your support! We don’t use a single cent of your gifts for overhead – 100% goes to programs to help children. Our all volunteer Board of Directors generously donates their time. If you can, please help too!

Please join with us. Contact us to find out how.

Edu Designs is a CA Non Profit 501 (c) 3 Corporation. All donations are Tax Deductible as allowed by law.

Guess who I met last night?

I got to meet the REAL Antwone Fisher – in person – last night!
If you don’t know who he is, click the link to find out more… you’ll be glad you did!

http://www.edudesigns.org/newsletter_03.html

The book he wrote is right on track to help kids who don’t have dads. Especially boys. And also anyone who wants to help them.

That’s where I am.Anything to help kids.
Let me know what YOU think!

Many thanks,

Ruth Elliott, Director, Edu Designs
www.edudesigns.org
626-979-8417

ruth@edudesigns.org

EDU DESIGNS is dedicated “to produce and distribute multimedia materials for the education, motivation and character development of children”

Edu Designs is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible as allowed by law.

“The quickest way to succeed is to fail. Miserably. The sooner the better.”

A friend told me  today when I complained about one of my older kids not listening to my advice. He was right. The sooner you make mistakes (that aren’t fatal) you learn you don’t know everything.  If you keep helping them they never learn how weak they are, plus blame YOU for not letting them do what they thought would work before YOU interfered. Should I let them fail then? But my first instinct is to keep trying to stop them from failing.  Every mother’s is. Is this the agony God has, when his children won’t listen?

“To the hungry man, every bitter thing is sweet.”

Knowledge that is hard won is treasured.

My mom didn’t interfere. Was I lucky? I made plenty of mistakes, failed and was miserable. But angry, then. “Why didn’t someone STOP me from making all these mistakes?” I protested, and blamed my mom for NOT interfering.  I mean – I would have liked a little bit more guidance, I told myself. Another rabbit trail to distract me from the truth I would have to admit:  If it wasn’t for ME, I wouldn’t HAVE any problems. Yes, I had done it to myself. Finally the light turned on. And the desire to prevent others from falling into the same traps I had… but will they listen?

All The Turns Are Taken…

WOW! Anyone who’s ever had the dirty end of the stick will like THIS story! Being battered around by older siblings made me think of writing it, and having a penchant for raising chickens in the 70’s showed me how to tell it (just listen to the chicken voices!) See what happens to this little guy by watching the movie!

Ruth does free Art Presentations for schools through EDU DESIGNS – contact her through their Web Site!