Archive for the ‘young kids’ Category

Keeping Kids Calm…

February 21, 2012

sleeptite_150

I got an email today that made me feel the pain of all the people out there who care for little children.

Here’s what this loving grandma wrote:  “I am a grandmother of a 3 and 4 year old.  I have had my grandchildren for a year now due to them being placed in foster care.  In the year that I have had them, we have been in 3 daycares due to major behavior problems. (biting, hitting, cursing, etc)  I feel like I have tried everything.  Thank you for providing these pictures.  I just found you and I am hoping that they work.”


 

I wrote this to her:

“My heart goes out to you. Such a big job you have. My best advice, when there is so much conflict and tension expressed by them, is this:

  1. Try to slow the pace of everything down, and to keep a calm atmosphere when they are at home.
  2. Don’t let them have sugary drinks or sweets during the week since they cause hyperactivity.
  3. Make sure they DO get LOTS of exercise during the day to tire them out and allow them to have a good sleep at night.
  4. Give them plenty of water during the day (dehydration causes stress).
  5. Keep the TV OFF – it causes frustration.
  6. Play happy and relaxing music with positive messages to think about instead.
  7. Read books to them. It will make them better readers later on as they associate reading with the snuggly feeling of being near you while listening to you read to them.
  8. Above all, your good example and influence is the very best thing for them. Your loving nature and sweet disposition will be easier ‘caught’ than ‘taught’.
  9. I hope that the charts also help.

Did you download the customizable ones here? http://www.gomommygo.com/thankdontspank.html

They are great because there’s no need for yelling or fussing.

Just calmly state the facts,

“Oh – I see your shoes on the floor. Quick!  Put them away so you can get your good mark! I don’t want you to miss your treat on Saturday!”

That way you can be on their side and a cheer leader for their success.

Many thanks for doing the hard stuff!”


 

After sending this message to her I realized: These tips are good for everyone!

Keep up the great work out there with your kids everyone!

Love and Best,

Ruth

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I promise not to have bad dreams…

November 17, 2011

 

Momma was careful not to let us watch scary movies. But when King Kong came on our black & white TV one night, I couldn’t resist.  I proudly proclaimed that I was now old enough, and assured her I was not going to get bad dreams. Unfortunately she believed me. So I watched, riveted to the tiny screen as giant Kong roared and the tiny lady screamed. And in my bed that night I really tried not, but woke up screaming in terror myself at the images playing in my head. Though I was ten years old Momma finally had to sing me a lullaby to get my mind to quiet down till I could think of something else!

It was then I realized for myself how vulnerable our minds are to the power of suggestion.

TV was only black and white back then, and the programs milder.  Today with the myriad of images and thoughts bombarding our kids each day it’s easy to see why they might have trouble sleeping, ADHD, OCD, less self control and a host of other problems worse than we had back then.

How can we help our kids process input, analyze and deal with the fears and bad thoughts that come to them? How can we control the onslaught to their impressionable minds?

First: TURN OFF (the TV) or electronic media that’s putting the bad stuff in.  Then: TURN ON (Real Life) by doing positive things that help them feel empowered to control and impact their environment.

And then: TUNE IN (to what’s playing in your head, too).  Watch and listen.

If you don’t like what you find there, ‘Change the channel’ by putting something good in it’s place.  Nice music. Happy thoughts. You’re in charge now. Don’t let the TV be the boss of you.

And by all means don’t listen to your kids if they say they are ‘old enough’!

I’m still not old enough to watch some of the things on TV today!

Thanks for paying attention to what’s in YOUR head,

Ruth Elliott

Director, Edu Designs

director@edudesigns.org

PS – There are gazillion things to do besides TV and video games. Make something with your hands, draw a picture, paint, build something, clean up the mess after your creative explorations, learn to play an instrument, cook, stare at the clouds, read, pet the cat, watch the plants grow, etc…

Tell me some of your ideas. I’ll add them to my list!  Email me!

By the way – Are you on Facebook? Check out the story on our page about the little boy who was inspired by my art textbook to draw an award winning picture for a soldier and gave it to him this Veteran’s Day!

GoMommyGO is proud to partner with Edu Designs, a CA Non Profit 501 (c) 3 Corporation. All donations are Tax Deductible as allowed by law. Tax  ID # 26-1576531
Edu Designs makes careful use of your support! We don’t use a single cent of your gifts for salaries – 100% goes to programs to help children

What to do with the Terrible TWO’s!

August 12, 2011

Jeanette recently emailed me with a problem:

“I am really eager to use the chart for my 2 1/2 yr old. When my son is not able to do something for his own self he gets mad and throws the item (toy) Is there a a visual that can teach him not to throw his toys when frustrated and instead ask for help in a nice voice instead of screaming?”

Here is my answer:  So glad you contacted me, Jeanette.
Yes, there IS a visual to help him use words instead of screaming! It’s right here:
http://www.gomommygo.com/positive_behaviors.html#talkYes_Yell_NO
Boy talks, instead of yelling
2 Yr olds get frustrated when they can’t express their feelings, and that can certainly put us in a panic at times! I recently discovered through research that the brain of a 2 year old is developing faster than at any other time in his life. Here’s my full article about it it:

http://www.edudesigns.org/ToddlersBrainPower.html
Since they can’t always say what’s bothering them, or even have the mental agility yet to be able to figure it out themselves, your job is to evaluate the situation objectively to find out the source of their problem.

Is it Emotional? Is it Physical?

Anger is a secondary emotion. That means that it doesn’t appear first.  There’s always a hurt that happens first, and THEN the anger. People who don’t want to cry many times jump into anger in order to bypass the pain they feel.
If you are a working parent and don’t see every little thing that goes on with them during the day, it can be hard to figure out what’s wrong sometimes. Your child may feel hurt and rejected from being at the babysitters all day. It could be an emotional hurt from an experience they just had. Or exposure to something they saw on TV. Young kids are much more sensitive than we realize.

Sometimes it can be a physical issue that can trigger outbursts.

  1.  Are they tired? Physical stress can cause a person to lose control.
  2. Are they thirsty? Dehydration causes the body to react in stress.
  3. Are they hungry? Blood sugar changes can cause stress and anxiety.

Sometimes, sensing that my kids were hungry or tired or both, I would let them know I could see they were upset, and that they were going to have to calm down so we could get them what they need right away.  I would ask them in a calm voice something like this:  “I can see you’re really tired and hungry. Would you rather settle down now so I can help you, OR do you need a little time to quiet down in your room?”  Either way, they get a double message where the only choice given them is to settle down.

There are lots of great tips you can get on speaking with Toddlers from Chris Thompson, the guru of TODDLER-Whisperers everywhere!  His site is here: http://talkingtotoddlers.com/4-tips
I was so impressed with his free audio lesson that even though my kids are all grown up, I bought the whole course!
You’ve got to check him out.  Let me know what you think.
I really want to help in any way I can,  Jeanette. Please let me know if there’s anything else you can think of that might shed light on the problem.
Best,
Ruth
PS – Did you ask for the Free laminated behavior card on this page yet?
 http://www.gomommygo.com/portable_charts.html
Just let me know.
🙂 Ruth

Ruth Elliott, Director, Edu Designs
www.edudesigns.org
www.gomommygo.com
Helping parents and caregivers guide character development…EDU DESIGNS is dedicated “to produce and distribute multimedia materials for the education, motivation and character development of children”  Edu Designs is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible as allowed by law.