I got an email today that made me feel the pain of all the people out there who care for little children.
Here’s what this loving grandma wrote: ”I am a grandmother of a 3 and 4 year old. I have had my grandchildren for a year now due to them being placed in foster care. In the year that I have had them, we have been in 3 daycares due to major behavior problems. (biting, hitting, cursing, etc) I feel like I have tried everything. Thank you for providing these pictures. I just found you and I am hoping that they work.”
I wrote this to her: “My heart goes out to you. Such a big job you have. My best advice, when there is so much conflict and tension expressed by them, is this:
- Try to slow the pace of everything down, and to keep a calm atmosphere when they are at home.
- Don’t let them have sugary drinks or sweets during the week since they cause hyperactivity.
- Make sure they DO get LOTS of exercise during the day to tire them out and allow them to have a good sleep at night.
- Give them plenty of water during the day (dehydration causes stress, too).
- Keep the TV OFF – it causes frustration.
- Play happy and relaxing music with positive messages to think about instead. Classical music calms the nerves too.
- Read books to them. It will make them better readers later on as they associate reading with the snuggly feeling of being near you and listening to you read to them.
- Above all, your influence is the very best thing for them. Your loving nature and sweet disposition will be easier ‘caught’ than ‘taught’.
- I hope that the charts help a lot, too.
Did you download the customizable ones here? http://www.gomommygo.com/thankdontspank.html They are great because there’s no need for yelling or fussing, just calmly stating the facts, “Oh – I see your shoes on the floor. Quick put them away so you can get your good mark! I don’t want you to miss your treat on Saturday!” That way you can be on their side, and a cheer leader for their success. Many thanks for doing the hard stuff!”
After sending this message to her I realized: These tips are good for everyone!
Keep up the great work out there with your kids everyone!
Love and Best,